(Holy) Ghost in the Machine...?
As I was pulling out of Panera on my way to baptism class, I remembered the iPod in my pocket was freshly loaded with a new worship playlist (somehow, I managed to lose all my playlists and have been slowly building them back up). I hooked it up and pushed play, hoping to get my heart ready for whatever God had on tonight's itinerary.
Class began with table talk. Our table revisited something one of the candidates had shared last week -- that baptism was somewhat intimidating, since it would basically be stepping off the fence in a very public, unretractable way. People might have higher expectations as a result. We talked about obedience... accountability... the power of testimony.
Jan led us in an opening prayer before we moved to the main event: the candidates' sharing of their faith stories. The whole group sat in a circle, faces open to each other. Some looked nervous, others at peace. Each candidate shared as they felt led, and we heard story after story filled with pain and grace and need and struggle and deliverance. Beautiful stories that rang with honesty and truth. In one way or another, each and every candidate said the same two things:
"God is amazingly, incomprehensibly faithful!"
and
"Jesus alone offers LIFE -- life beyond survival -- life that is worth living!"
I felt as though heaven was lit by God's loving "yes!" over each speaker in turn; like grace was rippling backwards, moving inward toward the person who spoke. As we closed, Jan and Becky anointed and prayed God's blessing over each candidate. I left with a sense of the vast panorama of God's goodness. Sliding into my car, I turned the iPod back on to let the worship serve as a background while I prayerfully savored the stories I'd just heard.
One of the odd characteristics of the contemporary worship movement is that you often find the same song on three or four different collections -- the studio version, the artist's live version, the version recorded at the Passion conference, etc. You may find yourself wondering "How many times will I pay for the same song?" Well, my whole collection went on the iPod, and my iPod is always set on random. And so it came to pass that I was pulled out of my musings by the realization: "Wait, this is the album mix of the song that just finished..." With each candidate's journey fresh in my heart, I actively listened to the same words I'd already heard:
In that moment, the imagery of sunlight and water was all about summer baptism. With the randomness of the iPod, God caught my attention. The event these much-beloved Kingdom children are preparing for is a consummate act of worship. While going into the waters will demonstrate a desire to be faithful to God and say something about who they are, any "performance anxiety" will be swallowed up by God's faithfulness to them. As each publicly affirms his or her commitment to Jesus, each will also be publicly repeating, in a whole-self way and with the entire universe shouting along, the two truths every one of them affirmed tonight: Jesus is LIFE, and He is faithful!!! The unfolding of their hearts in obedience will shake the heavens and reveal to their family, friends, and community who HE is. In the hallowed motions of baptism, every part of who they are -- spirit, will, soul, mind, heart, and body -- will move together and declare the glory of the Lord.
OK, OK, I know I'm getting wordy, but I can't describe the richness of what I was tasting there in my driver's seat.
Turning onto 169, I was humbled and overwhelmed with honor to have a chance to be a part of this; to get to hear and walk with these "living stones." My mind and heart dwelt on who God is and how much He has done in me and in them until, weeping, I had to pull over and let my soul cry out from the level of my DNA: "DEO GRATIAS!!! BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD!!!"
I'm now at work, and I know it's going to be a while before I can sleep, but I've rambled on for long enough. Pray for us -- the baptism candidates, sponsors, facilitators and guests, that we may all see more as we continue this journey. Thanks.
Oh, and the next song that played? Trading My Sorrows. I love it when God abandons subtlety altogether.
Class began with table talk. Our table revisited something one of the candidates had shared last week -- that baptism was somewhat intimidating, since it would basically be stepping off the fence in a very public, unretractable way. People might have higher expectations as a result. We talked about obedience... accountability... the power of testimony.
Jan led us in an opening prayer before we moved to the main event: the candidates' sharing of their faith stories. The whole group sat in a circle, faces open to each other. Some looked nervous, others at peace. Each candidate shared as they felt led, and we heard story after story filled with pain and grace and need and struggle and deliverance. Beautiful stories that rang with honesty and truth. In one way or another, each and every candidate said the same two things:
"God is amazingly, incomprehensibly faithful!"
and
"Jesus alone offers LIFE -- life beyond survival -- life that is worth living!"
I felt as though heaven was lit by God's loving "yes!" over each speaker in turn; like grace was rippling backwards, moving inward toward the person who spoke. As we closed, Jan and Becky anointed and prayed God's blessing over each candidate. I left with a sense of the vast panorama of God's goodness. Sliding into my car, I turned the iPod back on to let the worship serve as a background while I prayerfully savored the stories I'd just heard.
One of the odd characteristics of the contemporary worship movement is that you often find the same song on three or four different collections -- the studio version, the artist's live version, the version recorded at the Passion conference, etc. You may find yourself wondering "How many times will I pay for the same song?" Well, my whole collection went on the iPod, and my iPod is always set on random. And so it came to pass that I was pulled out of my musings by the realization: "Wait, this is the album mix of the song that just finished..." With each candidate's journey fresh in my heart, I actively listened to the same words I'd already heard:
The Cross before me, the world behind
No turning back, raise the banner high
It's not for me, it's all for You!
Let the heavens shake and split the sky
Let the people clap their hands and cry
It's not for us, it's all for You!
Not to us, but to Your name be the glory!
Not to us, but to Your name be the glory!
Our hearts unfold before Your throne
The only place for those who know:
It's not for us, it's all for You!
Send Your holy fire on this offering,
Let our worship burn for the world to see
It's not for us, it's all for You!
Not to us, but to Your name be the glory...
The earth is shaking, the mountains shouting
It's all for You
The waves are crashing, the sun is raging
It's all for You
The universe, spinning and singing
It's all for You...
In that moment, the imagery of sunlight and water was all about summer baptism. With the randomness of the iPod, God caught my attention. The event these much-beloved Kingdom children are preparing for is a consummate act of worship. While going into the waters will demonstrate a desire to be faithful to God and say something about who they are, any "performance anxiety" will be swallowed up by God's faithfulness to them. As each publicly affirms his or her commitment to Jesus, each will also be publicly repeating, in a whole-self way and with the entire universe shouting along, the two truths every one of them affirmed tonight: Jesus is LIFE, and He is faithful!!! The unfolding of their hearts in obedience will shake the heavens and reveal to their family, friends, and community who HE is. In the hallowed motions of baptism, every part of who they are -- spirit, will, soul, mind, heart, and body -- will move together and declare the glory of the Lord.
OK, OK, I know I'm getting wordy, but I can't describe the richness of what I was tasting there in my driver's seat.
Turning onto 169, I was humbled and overwhelmed with honor to have a chance to be a part of this; to get to hear and walk with these "living stones." My mind and heart dwelt on who God is and how much He has done in me and in them until, weeping, I had to pull over and let my soul cry out from the level of my DNA: "DEO GRATIAS!!! BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD!!!"
I'm now at work, and I know it's going to be a while before I can sleep, but I've rambled on for long enough. Pray for us -- the baptism candidates, sponsors, facilitators and guests, that we may all see more as we continue this journey. Thanks.
Oh, and the next song that played? Trading My Sorrows. I love it when God abandons subtlety altogether.
posted by jeffmacsimus @ 10:22 PM
4 Comments:
At 8:58 AM,
gloria said…
first, I want to say, "He ain't heavy. He's my brother."
second, "stepping off the fence in a very public, unretractable way" I really liked that. We avoid that. It seems undesirable. But it makes room for something... something slightly painful, naked, but wholely good. Water rushes through long dry river beds.
Thank you Jeff, for being beautifully transparent.
At 11:02 AM,
Grandma and Grandpa Benson said…
Jeff when you write . . . you transport me to the place you are writing from . . . and for a moment I am there too . . . the gift . . . Deo Gratias . . . is pure JOY!
At 3:32 PM,
Jaime G said…
YEAH!!!! Jesus is Life and he is Faithful!!! Amen!
Have you heard the "Trading My Sorrows" version off a celitic compilation entitled "Deep Still" (or Deep Still 2)? It is really good. No one can fly like the celts!!
I will be praying for you all...
At 5:02 PM,
Erin Bennett said…
Your life has quite the soundtrack. :) Shortly after reading this the other day, I heard "Not to Us" on the radio in my car. I couldn't help but smile.
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