Who's Chasing You?
It's happening again. It seems like some of the people I feel closest to -- the people I most want to know and be known by -- are the people that are coming off as most distant and guarded (Notice, dear reader, I said SOME... This is a clear invitation for you to assume I'm not talking about you -- a cue for you to not take this personally, because that's not how it's intended. Roll with me, here...). I find myself surrepititiously checking my zipper, sniffing my armpits, mentally replaying conversations to isolate the exact moment my foot may have entered my mouth all unnoticed. It makes me feel frustrated, cut off at the emotional knees, like I'm hip-wading in the relational equivalent of setting concrete.
I'm reminded of that scene at the end of "My Best Friend's Wedding" where Cameron Diaz catches Julia Roberts kissing Dermot Mulroney and runs off. Dermot chases her and Julia's chasing him and talking to Rupert Everett on her cell phone. Rupert, with that sagelike wisdom and wit so often attributed by Hollywood to the Gay Best Friend, asks Julia "Who's Chasing You?" Ouch. Harsh Reality.
I wonder if I don't make God feel that way sometimes. I'm in hot pursuit of good grades or cool toys or deep, fulfilling relationships, and he's stuck to my heels driving a delivery van in rush-hour traffic. There's a big difference between Julia and God, though. He actually loves me, though He is jealous of all the things I put ahead of Him. He's not ditzy or conniving or manipulative like Julia. He's brutally honest. You don't get much more loving or brutal or honest or real than the cross. And really, why would I need anything more than that?
So I'm sitting here at work, typing on my laptop when I should be asleep. The chase always ends as soon as I realize that I'd rather be the one who gets caught. Odds are good that what I'm sensing from my friends has absolutely nothing to do with me, anyhow. Just Lewis' Law of Undulation sending ripples through the waters of community, waves that will rise again in time.
Meanwhile, there's communion... Soli Deo Gloria...
I'm reminded of that scene at the end of "My Best Friend's Wedding" where Cameron Diaz catches Julia Roberts kissing Dermot Mulroney and runs off. Dermot chases her and Julia's chasing him and talking to Rupert Everett on her cell phone. Rupert, with that sagelike wisdom and wit so often attributed by Hollywood to the Gay Best Friend, asks Julia "Who's Chasing You?" Ouch. Harsh Reality.
I wonder if I don't make God feel that way sometimes. I'm in hot pursuit of good grades or cool toys or deep, fulfilling relationships, and he's stuck to my heels driving a delivery van in rush-hour traffic. There's a big difference between Julia and God, though. He actually loves me, though He is jealous of all the things I put ahead of Him. He's not ditzy or conniving or manipulative like Julia. He's brutally honest. You don't get much more loving or brutal or honest or real than the cross. And really, why would I need anything more than that?
So I'm sitting here at work, typing on my laptop when I should be asleep. The chase always ends as soon as I realize that I'd rather be the one who gets caught. Odds are good that what I'm sensing from my friends has absolutely nothing to do with me, anyhow. Just Lewis' Law of Undulation sending ripples through the waters of community, waves that will rise again in time.
Meanwhile, there's communion... Soli Deo Gloria...
posted by jeffmacsimus @ 11:19 PM
1 Comments:
At 4:57 PM,
Erin Bennett said…
I've been thinking about your post for a few days. There are so many times when I feel the same way. I try to end up talking myself out of it; that I'm just perceiving it the wrong way. But it does seem that when we need people the most, they aren't there. I like your connection to us putting God on the back burner, so to speak. He definitely is a jealous God, and I'm thankful for that!
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